Thursday, May 10, 2012

Emma-Sophia Mondegreen, AKA Kathleen Schrödinger (Floccinaucinihilipilification)

Name: Emma-Sophia Mondegreen
Alias: Kathleen Schrödinger
Blog: Floccinaucinihilipilification
Details of Death: See "Messenger's Report" below.

From "Messenger's Report" on Floccinaucinihilipilification:

This is not going to be pleasant.

I’m here to report the death of Emma-Sofia "Kathleen Schrödinger" Mondegreen.  She died...sometime within the past few days. Thursday evening is our best guess. As I’m sure all of you reading her blog know, she was being held hostage by a certain “Cheshire,” and he proposed a little “game” to determine her fate.  Only problem was, he had five aces and he dealt us a hand of Monopoly money.  He never intended to honor his deal.

Cheshire just sort of disappeared, and a few of our Agents went in after him to check out what had happened.  They found a note in her apartment directing them to the cellar of a library…the same one, if I’m not mistaken, that Schrödinger mentioned in her post that featured my own blog.  Funny how those things work out sometimes.

When the Agents got to the cellar, Cheshire was already gone.  So was Schrödinger.  They…didn’t find a body.  Technically.  I can still, unfortunately, report with all certainty that Schrödinger is dead, because while there was no body, there was still a head.

There were also bones.  Bones that we’ve managed to identify as belonging to Schrödinger.  Bones that…how do I even put this?

The bones were covered in bite marks. Human bite marks. I’ll give that a moment to sink in.

I’m not usually one to pay final respects.  Sure I’ll make observations or post any final wishes that may exist, but final, parting words to the deceased?  It’s unprofessional and it requires getting attached to the victim.  But I guess there are exceptions for everything.

Kathleen, you made me smile.  You convinced me that, no matter how dark things get, it’s possible to remain optimistic.  You made me, and I’m sure so many others, curious.  But they’ve opened up the box, and I guess that same curiosity is what killed the Kat.  But you live on.  If not in their hearts, then in mine.  And for you to be able to impact someone who’s technically your enemy as much as you have?  Well, it’s an understatement to say that you’ll be missed.  No one deserves to go like this. But you least of all.

Blog's over.  Move along, people.  Nothing more to see.
 From "They've Opened the Box" on Don't Shoot The Messenger:

I'm not going to do

the whole post like this.
I just can't 
do it justice.
But the beginning?
That much
I can try.

Let me make one thing clear...there aren't many of you that I actually give half a shit about.  So the fact that this is actually hard for me to write up...well, let's just say that it should give you a sense of how much of an impact Schrödinger tended to make on people.

Emma-Sofia "Kathleen Schrödinger" Mondegreen.  She's...dead.  Check the report.

I can't type it out again.  And if I could, I don't want it on my blog where I'd have to be reminded of it.

At the risk of being called a Quisling or Benedict Arnold or teamkiller...I would love nothing more than that Cheshire bastard's death right now.

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